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I am a borderline introvert. My best way to recharge is to be alone, quietly reading, enjoying nature, doing yoga/meditation, etc. One nice thing about getting older is that I become more self-contained and centered and rewarded by my time alone. However, as I get older, I just keep meeting more people. In order to keep my life manageable, I find myself being ultimately selective about whom I embrace as a friend: those with whom I feel a deep connection and share values. I already have so many wonderful friends with whom I have difficulty keeping in touch, I don’t want to add to it. This brings me to an interesting quandary, though.

Now that I have children, I find myself more a part of my community. A neighborhood, a school community, a church community, then there low fee payday loan30 day payday loanday loan payday quick same,cash day loan payday same,same day payday loanpayday loan in 1 hour,1 hour payday loan,1 hour loan paydayadvance cash loan payday wiredadvance loan online paydaypayday loan up to 1000,payday loan 1000 dollar,1000 loan paydayloan until paydaycalgary payday loanadvance cash loan loan paydayloan online payday,online payday loan application,online payday loan no faxingapproval instant loan paydayguaranteed payday loanyahoo payday loancash until payday loangeorgia loan payday,georgia in loan online paydayquick payday advance loanadvance fax loan no paydayez money payday loanfaxless payday loan same day,faxless loan no payday teletrack,faxless loan paydayloan payday,easy payday loan,quick payday loanfax loan no payday,fax loan no payday quick,guaranteed no fax payday loanadvance loan paycheck paydaypayday loan in georgialoan until payday,loan payday until,loan payday say until wordpressloan money payday treeinstant faxless payday loanfaxless loan online paydayinstant no fax payday loanno fax required payday loancash america payday loan,america cash loan paydayno faxing instant payday loanchicago in loan payday store,chicago loan payday storecash fast loan paydayno credit check payday loanonline payday loan instant approvalpayday loan without fax,fax less payday loan,fax payday loanhour loan one payday,faxless hour loan one payday,hour in loan one paydayfee loan low paydaymilitary payday loangioco baccarat in linea gratisgiochi baccaratgiochi jack black in linealista casino onlinegiochi casino online gratisvideo poker freewarecasino on line legalicasino on line roulettegioco baccarat in lineamigliori casino on line will be kids sports or music ensembles/communities, etc. Because we share a common experience in the community or in an activity, it makes sense that friendships may develop, especially if you find like-minded people. However, friendships also develop with people with whom I don’t have anything in common other than we are in the same place with children of about the same age. The region we share, the Silicon Valley, is the center of stress and fast living. The focus on achievement and materialism causes many people to push themselves beyond the bounds of good sense. I am always meeting people in the thick of the achievement and acquisition race. Its easy to get caught up in it and forget what your values are (if you’ve ever considered defining them at all).

So what are my values? A life of self-inquiry. Living in the truth of who I am (who we are all) at the deepest level. Many years ago, about the time I met my husband, JJ, I made a vow to myself: ” I choose to always hear and know Your ultimate Truth, Divine Love. With every breath that I take, I embrace Spirit and know Truth & Love.” My treasured teacher, Gangaji, has recently reacquainted me with that truth–Who I AM, Who We All Are. I am not this body, this mind, but that which is eternal and and connected to all things.

The people whom I’m meeting are good neighbors and community members. We don’t necessarily get to choose our neighbors/school mates/ community members. And, if we could, would everyone look the same? Would that be a healthy, diverse community? What I seek is the balance between choosing friends who share my values and temperament, and nurturing friendships with community members, embracing, and even celebrating, each others’ differences.

Being in life with those in our community who are different is my opportunity for growth. I’m learning not to compare myself (requiring constant attention). I’m learning to stay centered and grounded in my body (lots of reminders there). I’m learning not to try to change them or me to fit some unrealistic ideal (daily confrontations). I’m learning to celebrate and embrace others’ differences.

How about I just go back to the beginning: Stop, Breathe. Want nothing more than what’s here and now.

My most important, and elusive, practice is the topic of my first blog post. Life as meditation. Or, being present.

Boy, did I underestimate the skill and patience required of being a mom. After 4 years in the mommy club, I am perplexed by the spiritual practice of being present. In many ways, caring for children is all about being present. You’ve never slowed down as much as when you’ve taken a walk with a toddler. Every ant, leaf, rock, and crack in the sidewalk is new and must be explored. It’s really quite wonderful when I stop to see through my children’s eyes.

And the saying that kids grow up so fast is really true. Knowing this from those who have gone before, I find myself watching each developmental milestone in my children, willing them to stay in that place long enough for me to be able to set it in my memory.

On the other hand, the tasks of being a stay-at-home-parent require planning and multi-tasking in such a way as to prohibit the act of being present. Anticipating the need for sleep and food in order to prevent the all-feared temper tantrum. Within the window between napping and the next meal, don’t forget to pack for your errand or activity: a change of clothes, extra diapers, wipes, sunscreen, hat, cell phone, wallet, toys, snacks… It’s exhausting always anticipating, always planning, always racing between food or sleep events.

Life as meditation

I should take a lesson from the airplane emergency information: the adult should always give themselves oxygen before attending to a child. Or, as a friend of mine puts it, “I’m only as good for you as I am for myself.” I know that people know this as an objective concept, but the reality is that children are pulling and whining and racing around requiring feeding and changing and attending to. Often our needs can be put on hold and then are just never picked up. It’s an age-old problem, and as I’m just spewing this stuff out stream of consciousness, hoping for an epiphany, I receive one. It is the thing we’ve heard a million times, over and over again. Stay Present. Stop. Just be here and now. There’s the epiphany. But, how does that work when everything is spinning? Maybe I find a place to pull over, step aside, walk away. Stop & Breathe. Can I remember those two instructions? When life gets harried, when I can’t figure out which way to go, Stop Going Anywhere! STOP…BREATHE. It will allow me to regroup and orient myself, and maybe not take myself so seriously. The kids around me don’t have to stop, I don’t necessarily have to stop what I’m doing, but my mind has to stop spinning and yearning for something different. If my body has to stop in order for my mind to stop, so be it.

Empirical evidence shows that we manifest what we place our attention on. Whether we intend to or not, our intention is where our attention is focused. After I STOP…and BREATHE… then I focus my attention/intention on peace, on the here and now. I manifest peace in my life. I manifest health. I manifest compassion. And, as I always need to remind myself, compassion starts first with myself. When I am truly compassionate with myself, nurturing myself, I accumulate the energy to care for others happily, without resentment.

Can I keep keep caring for my family 24-7, without a break, and continue this practice? STOP, BREATHE, and maybe NURTURE MYSELF.

On the practical side, JJ sat down with me to work on my “Big Rocks” (in the spirit of Covey’s Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.) The important/urgent things always require attention, yet the important/NON-urgent tasks seem to never even get started. And those are the things that hang over my head, nagging at me, further depleting my energy. We have cleaned up my To Do list. I pick one or two things each week to work on. Or, if I have a busy week, I deliberately DON’T even think about trying to get anything done. Now I do what is realistic to do, and focus my energy into accomplishing those tasks, and I let myself off the hook if there’s just no time. So far it’s been super helpful (for the first couple of weeks.) I feel so much more positive and energetic because I’m getting a few things completed and still giving myself time to relax and recuperate when I need to. And now I don’t need to feel guilty about relaxing and re-energizing.

Now that I have clarified my intention, my energy is already flowing clearer and calmer. I’ll keep you posted on the progress of my practice. Please feel free to share how you stay centered and grounded through life’s storms. I look forward to the dialog.